Cake and Jesus

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I gotta be honest, these episode descriptions are just wearing me down. You’ve made it this far, obviously you’re listening to the fucking thing, and if this description is changing your mind, well, gee, I’d love to have your free time. Seriously, who’s THAT discerning? You wanna know what happens this week? Here, I’ll tell you. It all kicks off when Bryon announces that he has a bladder infection. Adam doesn’t believe him, so obvs..he’s drinking Bryon’s piss just to make sure. Turns out Bryon wasn’t kidding around, that was one a-spicy margarine container full of human piss. Next the two boys just fart for a long time…serious…like 9 hours of farts. Long, dry, hot ones that don’t stink. They just fart in each others stupid fucking mouths for 9 hours and 10 minutes and 22 seconds (I know because I edited it). By this point they’re both feeling a little gassed, and no that isn’t a pun. Fuck you if that’s the kind of thing that ’turns your crank’. You’re boring and everyone at work fake laughs at all the stupid shit you say. They laugh and don’t even feel bad about it. You suck at having a personality and it would actually be better if you had zero personality as opposed to the god awful one that you possess. You’re practically without an identity, because your personality is so bland and ‘meh’, that you’re often confused with a whole bunch of people like you. This all sounds pretty harsh but guess what, we still love you. Yeah… Plot twist much? We love you. So just stick with us and we’ll keep you safe and help you learn how to be cool like us. And in case you don’t know how cool we are, just picture a gun wearing sunglasses and fingerless gloves. That’s what’s up. #FGTC 

PREORDER “THE STORY BEHIND BOOK” ON AMAZON at www.ehappodcast.com/emily It makes a great gift for the holiday season!

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Music: 

Intro Song: “Kingdom in the Clouds”

Written by Adam Boutilier

Performed by Chris Layes and Adam Boutilier

Guitarist: Chris Layes

Clapping: Chris Layes

Outro music: “EHAP Outro 2018”

Created by: Adam Boutilier using Logic Pro.

Assistant to Mr. Depp: Daniel Repholz

This weeks Chris Pick:

Summertime Suicide by Murderdolls

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Any music used in the ‘Chris Pick’ segment is for entertainment and educational purposes only. All works belong to their original owners and are used solely for the promotion of the artists. If you enjoy the music used in this segment we strongly encourage you to purchase it and support the artists. All music used in this show has been purchased digitally from iTunes prior to use.

2018 © Everyone Has A Podcast